dragonspooker | IC Contact

You could just be out doing whatever one night, and I could be having some fun with Cynthia. Or I could be alone. Or I could be with somebody else entirely. And then there it is, on your phone. Me, in the middle of things, with a big "wish you were here" written underneath it.

;)

o h

I took it too far again, didn't I.

no, i--i don't know?

maybe i'm reading too far into things, or reading it wrong, or something - i'm not really sure what to think of things when you talk about being with others, your girlfriend included, and then wish i was there?

it makes a bizarre sort of sense in between, share the distraction maybe, but here...

I'm going to get crude here and I'm sorry, but it'll get my point across.

I like fucking. It took me a long time to come to terms with it but I really, really like it. And I want to share it with as many people as I can, sometimes at once, because I think by now I'm pretty good at it.

And it makes me feel nice and when I'm doing it I don't have to worry about anything else for a while. So it's probably weird for you but for me it's like I never left Between.

i suppose that's fair.

sorry for making it weird.

You didn't make it weird, Lina. I'm the one who's all weirdly excited for any chance she gets to have sex. You're probably more normal than me.

i disagree about not making it weird, but if you're willing to continue to look past my odd hangups, I definitely appreciate that.

Lina!!

You're my friend and I care about your comfort a lot, and I'm even more concerned about it now that we don't have to do it to survive! Gods, I never want to force anything like this on anyone. Not even a little.

it's not a question of comfort, it's just. never really got acclimated to between, i guess?

like other than a one-off with giorno, you were the only person i was with while i was there.

You could do worse than a one-night Stand with Giorno.

Take your time. If you don't want me doing this at you, you can tell me that, too. I'm serious, just tell me if I ever do ANYTHING to make you uncomfortable.

I'd let you know, believe me. I'm just... too much of a sap, I guess. Getting far too invested in people that show me common decency.

I feel like I've told you this before, but I know what you mean. We're not the same kind of disaster, but we're close enough.

At least we look good.

i guess so.

Do you need to talk about anything with me?

no, i just need to find my own hobby to forget about things with.

can't believe this stupid world doesn't even have bandits.

I can recommend the gym. It's a good place to go when you have a lot of thoughts that won't leave you alone and you want to punch things for a while.

punching isn't really my thing, though. i'll figure something out.

Sorry. I can leave you alone for a while if you want. I won't send you any more pictures like that.

the picture's fine, there's nothing wrong with sending it, or others.

just. i read too much into something because i'm dumb and easily attached is all, so i just need to go punch these stupid emotions back down where they belong.

Do you still have feelings for me, Lina?

[INSERT COPIOUS, EXTREMELY TELLING DELAY IN RESPONSE HERE.]

a little.

I'm sorry. It's only gotten worse for me since we came here. Lady Camilla is here, and she

[probably isn't reading this. it's probably fine.]

is very possessive. She doesn't even like that I served someone who isn't her long before I ever even met her. Let's be honest here. Having any sort of feelings for me has always been emotionally dangerous for anybody. This is the first time it might be physically dangerous.

i'm not afraid of some overbearing princess with a sharing problem, severa.

i just know i shouldn't expect anything beyond what we've got right now.

I wish I could say otherwise, but the cruelest thing somebody can do is lie to them about something like this.

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I care about you more than I care about most people and I want to do everything I can to help you be comfortable with all of this. I don't really have the heart to start being mean to you anymore and try to make the way you feel about me reverse. Not after what we have now between us.

If you need to get some space, I understand.

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dragonspooker - 2017-02-15 08:42 (UTC) - Expand

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squanderlust - 2017-02-15 08:46 (UTC) - Expand